i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
