Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
