So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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