Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
