i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
