Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
