I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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