operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
