I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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