think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
