Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
