he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
