Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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