This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize