your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
