Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
