Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
