dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize