if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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