I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
