At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My pussy is not your playground.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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