He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
