Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
