we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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