YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
