I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
