If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
