I need help removing her.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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