just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
