I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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