hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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