This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
