Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize