Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
