so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
