Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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