I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
