just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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