Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so let's talk penis.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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