Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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