Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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