so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
