FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I love having hate sex.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It was like giving head to a cactus.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
MIDGETS
????
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
