i think my tv is drunk
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Someone came in the potted fern
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
