now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
