kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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