i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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