is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
