Kiss
Puke
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
