I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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