i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
