he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
