sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
