By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
