Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
This baby is an asshole
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
