Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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