I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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