k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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