i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
